!!!! What I’m thinking about so much it’s killing me!!!!,

The whole thing with me telling or writing stories about what happened with me and another or other is really not me trying to bring focus to myself them or specific people or even a specific situation that happened between two people into things discussed but more of like

‘hey there’s this thing that happened that was bad and about how it being something thought of as oh that’s not bad that happens to everyone and then let go of but something that to me was as bad as I said for me but could that bad or worse than what happened to others and how it affected them and wanting everybody to focus on that but instead being like so yeah that whole thing whatever you think or feel about it and things like it or whatever and being like 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE WAS A WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE I KNEW THAT ACTUALLY ALL WOULD CAUSE EACH OTHER TO GO THROUGH TRAUMA IN SITUATIONS THEY WOULD CREATE IN FUCKED UP WAYS AND WERE LIKE THAT SO DESPITE ANYTHING THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME OR WHOS FAULT AND HOW MUCH AND COMPARISONS TO MOST OTHER STORIES FUCK ALL THAT WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT A GROUP OF PEOPLE SO FUCKED UP AND CONSPIRACY LIKE WITH PEOPLE THAT THEY ACTUALLY WERE CREATING SITUATIONS PRETTY MUCH TO HAVE EACH OTHER GET RAPED OR TRAUMATIZED ON PURPOSE AND COVER IT UP WITH EVERYONE AND WERE THAT EVIL THAT ID BE LIKE SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT THAT IF THAT WAS WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME THE FUCK WAS THEY DOING TO EACH OTHER THAT WAS PROBABLY WTF WAY WORSE, 

 the general aspects of what happened when applied to other groups and people create hostile and in my opinion evil situations and cultures that basically influence the events and situations of a persons life in a way that when revealed destroys something about the way life could be seen as unfolding and just happens and naturalness of whatever happens being what other people probably think is true too into everything you have around you is fake and nothing people tell you they feel is real they are all acting according to situations that are attempting to create around people that don’t do the same thing themselves so that the things that people want to happen to them will happen and be used as evidence to support what they say is true and how things should be and confirms for them the suspicion that people are conspiring against them in a way that feels like WHAT THE FUCK THEY ACTUALLY ARE and are trying to decide how my life should be and how to reward/punishment what they like to see done and how HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY ARE TRYING INFLUENCE PUBLIC OPION ON PEOPLE SO THAT THE WAY THOSE PEOPLE DECIDE THAT PERSONS LIFE SHOULD BE IS WHAT IS DONE, what thinking about things like that does to someone makes me think of things like wanting to kill the world, THATS A FUN REALITY OF REFLECTING ON LIFE EVENTS OF MINE AT LEAST I FOUND WAYS OF CHANGING THAT FOR MYSELF SOMETIMES thats what that does to people and knowing how to prevent control and choice from being taken from you is how to influence your own life more, 

don’t get diagnosed or have conditions limit your life options presented to you, CULTURES FAR FROM INFLUENCE OF ONES LIKE WHAT I DEAL WITH MAY BE DIFFERENT BUT THATS ACCURATE FOR A LOT OF EVERYTHING I TRY AND HELP WITH,

do what you can to have the largest possibility of things put in place, and power such as guns or weapons that will allow you to by force get what you want and when necessary destroy what societies are like that, THATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THEM if that group started doing that to and with people within then if applied to everything creates thinking that creates hells for people,

treating people different with the beliefs I have are what groups and what literally every person involved in that group did tried to change and remove from me because seeing it in honesty made them want to see it turned into falsehood to destroy what it means about the reasons for doing things in their lives might say about them, WHAT IS TRUTH NOT WHAT MIGHT BE SAID IS WHAT SHOULD MATTER WTF that’s a lot to deal with every time I experience what happened again because every person involved not authentically doing or being or believing literally anything, 

A WHOLE FUCKING REAL GROUP OF PEOPLE LIKE THAT,

some people would not believe me because they thought people could never be that evil for real and others would be like yeah that’s what everyone is like, 

getting people together from both the cultures those answers come from is important, HAVING PEOPLE BE ABLE TO SHARE THINGS TOGETHER LIKE I DESCRIBED IN A THING OR EVENT LIKE I WROTE WOULD BRING ABOUT AN INFINITELY MORE AMOUT GOOD THAN WHAT MOST THINGS IVE SEEN DONE WOULD DO, 

please for the love of god someone at least respond in a real way to something, (570)855-4641