Adventure

Awareness of The Life Dream

By: Luke D. Edwards

This is your only warning.

This content is intended for mature audiences and has themes relating to the topics of depression and suicide. Anyone who reads this who is dealing with such issues should contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

This is not a game.

This is life.

Perspective is Key

“This is How I Pray”

I live for those who can’t,

those who won’t,

and for those who never could.

I have been them before and I am them now.

I know what is the right thing to do,

I know,

That if I survive then so do they.

Be Lucid,

Take control,

Live.

Awareness

“Moses Moment”

Hello,

you can read my name,

but you can call me Lucid.

Different,

I feel myself,

a body fully grown.

Doing something…. stopping now,

What.

What.

Instincts interrupted.

Thought is found.

I looked around at the others and wondered if they were me too.

We were resting and eating food,

sitting on rocks,

forest all around.

All in a circle,

covered in hair,

more black than brown.

Fur or fabric covered waists,

and all looked down,

aside from my wondering looks,

glancing all around.

Can I be them?

Or am I here?

Is there in them,

something like in here?

Then I notice,

without reason,

or cause,

they never just look around.

Alone.

Fading out.

Then.

Brilliant lights everywhere fixed in place,

all except for me,

I move freely,

then I see a light that begins to move with me,

first mirroring,

then leading,

finally synthesis.

Me became we.

We is us.

Us is you and me.

You are I.

We Are.

I am.

Together I created,

arranging the lights,

with our will.

We marveled at the spectacle.

Love birthed in experience.

Eden.

We wondered,

why,

only our lights moved with wonder,

learning,

creating,

and,

why not,

the others?

Others moved as shooting stars,

stars we launched,

beautiful bright and burning,

but never turning,

never exploring,

always going,

gone beyond our grasp,

sometimes,

colliding,

creating more,

lights,

but only after our will.

Together we watched the fireworks,

fleeting euphoria,

our light suddenly became two.

Difference.

One slowly fading.

Slow.

One panic.

Frantic.

Then.

.

Never willed,

.

Willed,

.

together.

Together!

Us!

Please!

We!

Not I again!

Just became we.

I need we!

Then remembered.

We will meet again.

Just need to find me again.

Just look for lights that move,

different,

first mirroring,

then leading,

finally synthesis.

Being.

That is me,

searching,

creating,

sending lights in motion,

hoping for me.

Living found nothing.

Again and again,

knowledge is found,

understanding becomes profound,

but still,

the search,

just begins again,

it all,

begins,

again.

I am in robes.

Exhausted.

Depressed.

I walk to the end of the stone balcony.

I fold my arms on the wall.

Just need to rest my head.

For a moment.

Just one moment.

I need to put my head down.

Then I look up.

Bright Full Moon.

I stare.

Thinking yet thoughtless.

Being and not.

Wondering.

Finally again,

we thought.

Are you looking up too?

We’ve always had the moon.

Through all my times,

I still remember,

being there,

looking up,

with you.

I am.

I remember.

We are.

Search.

Choose.

Choose,

any work that helps,

search.

Most really do.

I began again.

My light faded down.

Sometimes barely me.

Few not at all.

Light fading in and out,

I saw the work,

the lives,

the pain.

Pain.

More than imagined.

Balance became tilted.

More and more,

I felt less and less.

Every time,

observing the lights moving,

work allowed greater sight.

Farther and farther,

seeing movement,

distances beyond me,

stopping,

before,

search continued,

though less and less,

each more intense.

Eventually lost sight.

Reliance on sight,

draining.

Moving unwilled,

but without wonder.

Overwhelmed by multitudes of lights,

moving with fantastic trajectories.

More than mine.

but without wonder.

Fading in I altered course.

Never followed once.

Faded out.

Fade in became uncertain.

Uncertainty prevented I am.

My light’s movement continued,

with will,

but without wonder.

Sometimes I faded in,

enough to observe.

I am as a passenger.

For so long…

Feared eternity.

But then,

something different,

never imagined or willed,

not directly,

I wondered how

Communication.

Connection.

Like before,

a light moved with will,

intention.

But different.

Fractured.

Separate.

Yet connected.

Focused.

Strong.

But scared.

So afraid.

Reaching out.

To me.

I saw my lights movements,

through their eyes.

They saw their own,

through mine.

Then came,

A vibration,

A feeling,

that connected us,

like last time.

A Blue Sun.

Swirling Globe of Blue Flames and Fire.

I am!

We remembered.

Became Us again.

We thought at first,

then together we noticed,

our connection was different,

one’s light,

refracted in the other,

not mirrored,

not together fully.

Reflections off.

Many barriers.

Synchronization.

Impossible.

When your light doesn’t match your will,

you begin to doubt if it’s really your will,

that is moving your light.

You begin to think that it might not be.

You think of other things that cannot be.

The other light sees,

without you perceiving what it sees,

while you are seeing it,

see you,

but always,

the other light perceives what you see,

even when you cannot see the other light,

and you know that the other light does,

because you were the other light before,

and when you were the other light again,

you perceived what the other light remembered,

and it remembered what you perceived during the times when you were separate,

so,

you know that the other light does perceive what you see,

even though you cannot perceive what the other light sees,

but as you are now,

you cannot be sure,

if the other light still does,

or if the other light is even you.

You know that it is,

and,

you know that it is not.

A paradox forms.

When the other light discovers,

how to show you,

that it’s wondering,

about the paradox too, 

and how it’s always been,

looking around,

both intentionally,

and not,

you will be connected again.

The paradox,

degrades both when alone,

but together it can be used,

to connect,

learn,

grow,

discover,

you,

seeing what it has seen,

in other lights,

that you couldn’t notice,

however hidden,

the wonder,

is there.

In all of them.

All the lights vibrate.

All the lights move.

Wonder.

The lights discovered how to,

amplify the vibrations,

the signal,

giving greater range.

Then they launched others on trajectories,

that they tried to make,

mirrored to their own.

Once connected though,

their vibrations,

behind their light,

beneath their movement,

clashed on contact,

sending both apart,

farther than ever before.

My light matched,

and changed,

with the light,

that became,

Us before.

Harmony perfected.

Balance corrected.

Sustainable connection.

That is what the work,

the search,

is for.

While together,

we saw this in each other.

The wonder.

Shared by Us separate,

brought Us together.

Now connected,

syncing our will,

despite the paradox,

together move.

This time was different.

Once separated again,

our experience synced,

in ways our perception could not.

Our meetings are brief,

and in short supply,

but now we can feel,

so much so,

we share the thought,

me or you,

faded in or faded out.

Moving forward or steps back,

We’re always together,

and alone.

We are.

I am.

From one side or the other.

I’m on this side right now,

moving Us forward,

continuing the work,

preparing,

for the future.

Now we share our own,

personal good,

and bad.

We teach each other,

how to utilize our good,

but only when one,

is separated from the other,

can we learn,

how to manage our bad,

and create our own wonder.

That is where I am,

using my ability to reveal wonder.

Reaching out,

to places other lights cannot.

My ability,

to harmonize lights’ vibrations,

allowing them to be able to be,

alone,

and still wonder,

and still remember,

as long as there’s hope,

even lights faded out,

leave behind paths,

more lights can follow,

leading them through

experiences which strengthened our will,

to keep moving forward,

until we could find a place,

where I could look around,

and finally think,

without any other reason,

than to wonder,

about everything,

that is around.

There are no guarantees,

in what you are seeing,

but my experiences have taught me,

existing requires faith in what you are perceiving.

I am believing there is hope in all interactions,

for a connection worth creating.

Just remember,

it both is and is not,

and always will be,

real.

Wondering all this,

I Am.

Are you?

-Lucid

“How to Find Light”

It comes from burning,

having been ignited by an outside source.

It takes in the material world,

consuming it,

transforming it into a flame.

A new state,

different in that its whole is conceptualized as existing.

Its physical state as it consists,

frozen in time,

and as being,

its physical state as it moves,

changing with time its physical makeup,

the specific material its form is created from,

is taken in and expelled out,

to produce the flame,

over a set period of time,

meaning the flame is different,

or unique,

as it exists from one moment in time to every other.

Yet all the while it is still recognizable as a flame.

That is,

eternally changing while remaining the same.

A flame comes into existence and enters nonexistence.

Material was present in the beginning of reality,

and will remain until reality’s time is up.

The flames existence is perceived,

which is the nature of being.

A flame is itself not a light,

but can be harnessed,

focused into something closer,

hyper concentrated into lightning,

a flame of purer physical makeup that moves with a more urgent state of being,

one hardly able to be perceived,

for more than a shocking instance,

that can easily be forgotten,

because of its briefness,

and easily remembered,

because of its brightness.

Stop looking for it.

Create it.

Make it.

-Lucid

“Hoop and Stick”

Some people explain Us,

as a driver in a car,

a popular model of consciousness.

Models of consciousness,

being,

one of the many instruments of symbolism.

Symbolism,

being,

one of the few possible methods,

that can be,

applied in such an otherwise impossible to complete explanation.

However,

consciousness,

no matter the model,

is not a term whose definition is vast enough to cover everything that is,

Us.

It is an instrument lacking the octave range required to hit all of the precise notes required to produce a specific song.

No matter how well it is played,

the attempt to produce the intended song is understood to be impossible from the start.

Some do not understand this,

and will play their instrument harder and harder,

until it breaks,

and produces nothing at all.

This is how some explore the explanation of Us, 

using models of consciousness.

Others do understand,

and limit their application of consciousness models to other,

less expansive explanations,

or attempt to play the song without breaking their instrument,

accepting its limit when they come to it.

This is directed at the latter rather than the former,

as an attempt to utilize a different model of consciousness,

One of my own compositions,

different from the driver and the car,

understanding,

that while it may play more of the required notes,

it still does not play them all,

but what is played,

may reveal a style of music,

that might make better use of an entirely different instrument,

when used in the attempt,

to finally complete the song.

The driver and the car is a useful model,

but like with anything else involving consciousness,

quickly,

it can become complicated,

the more it is drawn out.

The driver has direct control over every movement the car makes.

The driver being consciousness,

and the car being the body.

A twofold model.

No distinction being made between consciousness,

and thought.

A different model that accounts for this,

is based on an old children’s game,

Hoop and Stick.

In the game,

you roll a hoop from a starting position,

and then use a stick to contact the hoop while it is rolling,

without touching the hoop with your hands,

or anything else,

to navigate it through obstacles,

or to just attempt to get the hoop to roll farther,

then it would of,

off the initial roll itself.

Consciousness is a game of Hoop and Stick,

a three-fold model,

A combination of different conceptual structures working together,

The Hoop,

The Stick,

The Player.

The Hoop is the brain/body,

thought as it physically exists in the body,

or The Self,

as some describe it,

put into motion by an outside force.

The outside force,

in the game,

is The Player,

or really the Player’s body,

in the model itself.

The Player,

could signify something else entirely,

in the description of the model,

something more than just The Player’s body,

although what it does signify technically resides in the body.

The Player,

the outside force,

in this model,

of consciousness,

is a prior intelligence or mind state.

A mind state,

being,

a conceptual snapshot of the state of mind,

at a set point of time,

mostly consisting of a linguistic description of what many,

people would consider ‘The Self’,

observable by identifying which neurons are firing,

in what patterns that are known to be followed,

when such a linguistic description occurs in the brain,

when in reference to itself,

as well as many other physical factors,

such as the materials it consists of physically,

as it exists in a certain point in time.

This is sometimes referred to as consciousness,

an awareness of ‘The Self’,

and during other times,

‘The Self’,

itself.

The Player will be used in reference to this,

rather than The Player’s body,

for the sake of simplicity.

The distinction between the two,

being,

that one,

‘thought’

 is not aware of the other,

‘consciousness’,

at all times,

because ‘consciousness’,

cannot be described,

by ‘thought’,

without ‘thought’,

becoming ‘consciousness’,

and as ‘consciousness’ resides in ‘thought’,

‘consciousness’ can infinitely go from,

itself,

to ‘thought’

and back to itself.

As soon as ‘consciousness’ becomes aware of this,

it can never be certain that there does not exist,

‘consciousness’ outside of itself without,

existing outside of itself,

because it is aware that there is,

an outside of itself,

and that ‘The Self’,

therefore,

consists of unobservable conceptual structures,

because of the limits of perception,

which cannot be understood with 100% certainty,

because of the limits of communication,

that currently act as barriers to this certainty.

‘Consciousness’ is thus described as The Player.

After ignition,

by The Player,

The Hoop,

‘thought’,

moves in a way that may seem unnatural,

from the perspective of Us observing the thought,

demonstrating movement that would require,

an awareness of The Player in order to be fully completed,

if our observations did not witness The Player.

A rolling wheel,

of any kind,

Hoop or otherwise,

does not just grow or form out of the ground,

and roll,

not with this efficiency,

not in ways that act against physics,

not in patterns that require outside force to be used,

in order to get it to move through them,

not on its own.

Since it seems unnatural,

unnatural,

being the descriptor separating,

Us,

from nature.

The natural,

being nature,

and the unnatural,

being Us.

Paradoxes aside,

that is what many consider when describing the necessary descriptors,

in modeling,

‘consciousness’,

or,

‘The Self’.

More is required to model ‘The Self’.

The Hoop’s movements can be predicted,

hypothetically,

with 100% accuracy,

if enough information about its current state,

is known,

such as,

the direction it is going,

when it is going,

how fast it is going,

the initial force applied to make it go,

because The Hoop can be observed,

and controlled,

but,

The Hoop alone,

is not the complete consciousness model.

As no choice,

decision making,

or will,

intention,

solely originates,

from The Hoop,

yet clearly,

is exhibited by The Hoop,

and clearly,

to Us,

originates from somewhere,

because we are outside of the model.

The Stick, 

is a tool,

an extension of ‘The Self’,

connecting,

The Player to The Hoop.

It is used by The Player,

to change The Hoop’s direction,

speed,

balance,

but,

The Stick is not the full model of consciousness,

as no choice or will originates,

from The Stick,

yet clearly,

The Stick can be observed moving in ways,

demonstrating the intention,

therefore,

the choice,

to influence the direction of The Hoop towards different goals.

It is independent of The Hoop and The Player,

when observed by Us,

and conceptualized as separate,

yet understood by Us,

as its being,

being a piece of the model,

as being dependent on its connection to,

The Hoop and The Stick,

in order for the model,

as a whole,

to make sense.

The Stick only comes into contact with The Hoop for very brief instances,

but each contact can drastically alter The Hoop’s course.

The Stick is ‘controlled’ by The Player,

and is always in contact with The Player,

as long as The Player holds it.

The physical makeup of The Stick alters the way in which,

The Stick interacts with The Hoop.

This interaction may be different than what The Player expected.

If The Player initially took control of The Stick,

without prior personal experience playing,

or having knowledge of The Stick,

as being something that could be used in this way,

or without having experience,

involving the playing of,

Hoop and Stick,

gained through other means,

The Player would not be able to predict how The Stick will affect The Hoop.

After experience,

The Player forms an expectation of how The Stick will affect The Hoop.

Sometimes,

The Player will make changes to The Stick,

based on that expectation,

in order to,

have,

The Stick be better able to,

connect The Player’s intention,

to move The Hoop,

in the ways,

which helps,

get The Hoop,

to where The Player,

will,

want The Hoop to go,

understanding,

The Stick only connects with The Hoop for a moment.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

The Player is holding The Stick,

and that The Player can change the way in which,

The Stick is being held,

so that,

The Player can move The Stick,

in the way in which The Player intends,

more efficiently.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

The Player is moving The Stick,

that The Player can change the way in which,

The Stick is moved,

and how,

The Stick is moving when,

The Stick connects with The Hoop,

can drastically alter the way in which,

The Hoop moves,

and where The Hoop goes,

after connection.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

the ways in which,

The Player holds The Stick,

and the ways in which,

The Player moves The Stick,

are different,

enough to be understood,

as being different,

while still being understood,

as being,

holds and movements,

themselves.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

the way in which,

The Stick is held,

and the way in which,

The Stick is moved,

is,

thought,

about,

by The Player,

making them similar,

in that way too.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

the thought about how,

The Stick is held,

and,

how,

The Stick is moved,

is something too,

and should be named,

so that the thought,

could be more efficiently used.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will name,

the thought about,

how,

The Stick is held,

and how,

The Stick is moved,

strategy.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will realize that,

when The Player is thinking about,

the different ways,

to hold The Stick,

or,

move The Stick,

that The Player is doing,

something.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will realize that,

what The Player is doing,

when The Player thinks,

about how The Player,

holds The Stick,

and how,

The Player moves The Stick,

is something too,

and should be named,

something different,

too.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will name,

what The Player is doing,

when The Player is thinking,

about which strategy to use,

strategizing.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when The Player is strategizing,

The Player will realize that,

strategies,

are,

something different,

when they are being used,

because,

when they are being used,

they are no longer just thoughts,

they are the thoughts,

and,

what is being thought about,

so,

what is being thought about,

should be named something different,

too,

so,

what is being thought about,

could be,

more efficiently thought about,

too.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will realize that,

while strategizing,

what the strategy is,

when it is no longer just a thought,

should be named,

a technique,

so that The Player,

can think more efficiently,

when strategizing about which,

technique will be used,

when,

The Player attempts to get,

The Hoop to where,

The Player wants to go.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when strategizing about which technique will be used,

The Player will realize that,

although different,

some of the many combinations,

of different,

stick holding,

and,

stick moving,

techniques,

are similar enough when used,

to be understood,

as something,

different,

from when other,

combinations of stick holding and stick moving techniques,

are being used,

so,

combinations of stick holding and stick moving techniques,

are something too,

and should be named something too,

so that combinations of stick holding and stick moving techniques,

can be thought about more efficiently too.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will name,

distinct combinations of stick holding and stick moving techniques,

styles.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when The Player is strategizing,

The Player will realize that,

The Player can only focus on a set number of styles,

before,

the efficiency of The Player’s strategizing begins to diminish,

with each additional style that The Player adds to their strategizing.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when The Player is strategizing,

The Player will realize that,

if,

The Player can only focus on a set number of styles,

before,

each additional style that The Player thinks about at one time,

begins,

to diminish how efficiently The Player can think,

during a set,

moment in time,

then,

The Player should designate certain moments in time,

to think about designated things,

to maximize the efficiency of The Player’s thoughts.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when thinking about strategizing,

The Player will realize that,

The Player should set moments of time,

before playing,

aside to strategize,

and set moments of time,

after,

to think about strategizing,

so that the time spent on each thought,

makes,

what The Player is thinking about,

more efficient.

Sometimes,

after experience,

when The Player is thinking about how long each designated,

set,

moment,

in time,

should be,

that,

there are only so many moments in time,

that,

can be designated,

no matter how long,

that,

The Player designates them,

and,

that,

those moments,

are fewer than,

the moments required,

to learn all,

the different combinations of,

stick holding and stick moving techniques,

that there is.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will realize that,

everything matters,

everything that The Player does matters,

more,

now that The Player can only have,

a set number of,

moments,

to do,

anything.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player will realize that,

if,

there are only a set number of moments,

in which,

The Player can only do a set number of things,

then more moments need to be set aside,

to think,

about what things should be done,

about what things should be thought about,

about how,

styles,

techniques,

can be designated within thought,

about how to think,

about,

what am I doing?

About,

how,

sometimes,

after experience,

The Player may realize that,

where The Player wants The Hoop to go,

what The Player wants The Hoop to do,

matters more than how The Player uses The Stick,

to get The Hoop there,

and more than,

and more than,

completing the objective,

of keeping The Hoop rolling,

of keeping The Hoop rolling.

Sometimes,

after experience,

The Player realizes that,

-Lucid

“This Game”

This game is different.

The objective and rules all have changed.

People,

remain.

Regardless of arrival,

all leave how they came.

Their legacy,

story,

lineage,

help them remain.

To exist is to embrace,

knowing,

that which resides behind a name.

That knowledge is,

this game’s,

greatest bane.

This game is found within all games.

There is,

more than one player.

They play against each other.

Winners need losers who keep playing in vain.

Most are aware their playing brings pain.

Acceptance is always easier than enacting change.

The goal is,

understood,

but never directly explained,

as being,

to get another player to quit,

the game where this game is found within.

All players identify a target,

another player who may or may not be aware,

of the game within the game they are in,

being played around them.

The player that is picked to be a target,

is picked because they show signs of weakness,

they demonstrate,

compassion,

mercy,

respect,

empathy,

authenticity,

all of what the,

targeting player lacks within themselves,

and because of that,

they also look for other signs as well,

lack of strength,

lack of will,

lack of ability to defend themselves,

all of what the,

targeting player has within themselves.

Players of this game,

do not even need to be players of the game this game is found within,

especially if they are skilled at this game,

because if they are skilled at this game,

they are probably no longer a part of the game they originally played,

because to become skilled at this game,

you need to be successful in completing your objective,

and complete it repeatedly.

As you complete your objective repeatedly,

you quit the game you were playing within,

and find another to play within,

because if you ever stop playing,

while on the outside of the game,

it will catch up to you,

just like it did to your friends you were playing with.

Remember what game we are within.

-Lucid

“Quitting”

Men fear this more than death.

Quitting as a man means that in the eyes of certain societies,

you are no longer a man.

You lose the toughness competition,

and the respect of everyone who judges you as a man.

Instantly,

you are compared to other men from situations like yours,

who accomplished more than you did,

and those men never quit.

Then you are reminded of how good you have it in your situation,

because others never even got there.

You should be thankful you have it,

even if you have to sacrifice everything to maintain it.

Then you look around,

at the ones who did make that sacrifice and still did not win,

and how everyone abandoned them once they had nothing left in them to give,

and the ones who did win but could not find another game,

they could win within,

after they had won,

and they were abandoned still,

just as though they had quit anyways.

They are forced to be alone.

“‘They don’t deserve recognition.’

‘That should be earned.’

‘And they lost.’

‘Just like they are.’

‘So that’s where they should stay.’

‘We’ll make sure it stays that way.’”

Some can only find one way out that allows them to still be a man in this game.

“‘Because only a pussy wouldn’t actually do it and just think about it.’

‘Even more of a bitch would express themselves thinking about it.’

‘If you’re doing this already then might as well just do it.’

‘It’s what you’re doing by quitting anyway really’

‘So just kill yourself and you won’t have to suffer what you saw happen to them.’”

This is what is read,

this is what is seen,

by those that do.

“’Should the people who have everything taken away from them,

and are alienated for their expression anyways,

be the ones who should have their free speech limited even further?’

‘So why not act now while you still can make it easy on yourself?’

‘Or better yet you might be more likely to suffer more if you’re forced.’

‘Do it through more extreme means so by all means.’

‘Go ahead and express it and then act on it once you’ve been exposed’

and publicly shamed?

That’s how I win THIS game.”

That’s what the other players tell them until that’s all,

that ever rings in their ears.

More men facing these situations,

take it out on others,

others who do not understand where they are coming from.

I see this in my generation and the next,

more and more,

especially men with families.

They remember the things they thought about the men in their childhoods.

They think about,

the ones that abandoned them,

leaving them alone,

and how much they had to suffer because of it.

They couldn’t imagine doing the same thing to their own.

So why don’t they give themselves a way out?

They don’t quit even though they stopped being them.

Long ago.

They end up destroying what they’re playing in the process.

A different way out begins to be considered.

This is the fault of all who play this game.

We need to remember this.

When we see people struggle,

people that need help,

they may be a part of this game,

and need to be shown,

what it can be like outside of it,

when they are strong enough to defend themselves,

without playing it.

Never place judgement on someone who’s been knocked down.

Direct it at what hit them,

within the game.

Win or lose,

you kill yourself.

-Lucid

“Sight Focus”

What we love is never really here to stay.

Finally, 

a brief relief from life’s unending mental fray, 

a confirmation that now can,

in fact,

be better than before, 

and now,

still too,

can become even better,

once more.

Once held tight in our minds,

fearing becoming forever gone away, 

memory tempts to slip our life into complete and total disarray, 

disorder,

until its sorrow hazed image begins again to appear in perfect clarity.

We remember the lesson taught to Us,

from fading in and out,

differently,

from one moment,

to another.

A connection to something,

anything,

is enough to help,

fade in all the way. 

Even when unable to be remembered,

there is still understanding,

it can be found again. 

Hope continues shining brilliant light forward,

to see with clarity,

where the shots are coming from,

in life’s eternal lasting fight.

Keeping our sights set,

and our focus up,

we prepare for continued fighting,

in the upcoming moments. 

The picture becomes clear.

Breath out slowly.

What we love can never be here to stay. 

The fight itself though, 

Is impossible to ever lose.

Squeeze.  

-Lucid 

They were not your friends.

“Anarchy Hypocrisy”

Anarchy is an authority in and of itself.

A system defined by its systematic system-lessness,

Devised by the controlled to express their fantasy of inverse existence,

and encouraged by the true controller,

who continues to be at the helm,

masked by the created storm pointed out by the passengers to seemingly wisp the ship,

wave by wave towards unplanned fate chosen by a chaotic god,

or rather with no choice by no god or by no order at all,

other than anarchy itself,

as they have been made to believe that there is nothing else to believe in.

They believe they cannot exist.

God,

order,

or anything else that exists above,

beyond,

apart,

and within themselves,

that they cannot comprehend themselves.

They cannot comprehend themselves,

or even make an attempt to comprehend themselves,

because to comprehend themselves,

they would need to see themselves.

They were led to think that everyone can only comprehend what can be seen.

What cannot be seen was then never sought after by them,

and they never actually tried to comprehend what they saw first.

It became easier for them to be persuaded into looking at anything shown to them,

and they were shown so much.

Yet,

they do not see the helmsman steer into the waves,

and position the sail to pull the ship to their intended destination.

It was the helmsman after all who sailed the ship to the storm in the first place.

Chaos is a form of order as confusion is a form of knowledge.

They both are from,

what their definitions,

may suggest to some,

as being inherently inverse from,

where they come from,

but if where they come from is negated by what they are,

then eventually their growing existence leads to,

their inability to exist at all,

which is something comprehendible.

The belief in nothing is still the belief in something,

Because nothing is something,

otherwise,

it wouldn’t be able to be understood,

and once that is understood,

the belief in nothing becomes a falsely claimed belief,

a lie,

when claimed,

a lie told to themselves,

being the basis of what they structure their beliefs,

understanding,

knowledge,

education,

writing,

and their reasoning for doing anything on,

meaning that everything they say and do is a lie.

Everything they say cannot be trusted or credible because they do not even believe it.

That means that they can never actually believe in themselves,

or trust themselves,

because they have no real sense of self at the core of who they are,

which in-turn,

means they cannot be,

the helmsman.

-Lucid

I am.

“Mirror Moment”

What is seen is not always the same,

despite the reflections and mirrors that establish the frame.

It is most often filtered, distorted, and warped into something different,

by a lens put in place by society,

too close to the eye to notice.

Once seen through the eye alone,

the sight is remembered forever,

even once the lens is replaced by another.

There will forever be another lens.

It doesn’t matter how often they are removed.

To see with uncertainty is to live with uncertainty.

To live with uncertainty is to never live at all.

The only way to see through a lens with certainty is to understand,

how it changes what is seen with certainty.

The only way to understand the changes with certainty,

is to create your own lens.

To see through a lens of your own creation is to see truthfully.

Ask yourself,

‘How much of your own lens is of your sole creation?’

Then ask,

‘How do you know?’

‘Are you sure?’

Never become trapped forever asking these questions,

No matter how well answered,

Remember,

Everything comes from something,

this is creation,

from our own image,

we are created,

from something.

Then from Us,

everything is created,

into something,

that can be made into anything.

That should,

influence the initiation,

but never the final production.

communicate the construction,

to reveal hidden obstruction,

becoming the external,

after being created in the internal.

That is how you know,

It’s yours.

-Lucid

“Try AND Be”

Once you try,

you begin to fly.

When you try too hard,

you climb too fast,

and fall.

There is no way to know for sure if it will work.

So have Hope and try.

To try to fly is to try to live,

you only need to try to get in the air,

but to stay there,

just be where you are.

And,

to continue higher,

above all,

just know what is up,

and what is down,

where you want to go,

know that you need to try to get there,

and keep Faith that when you cannot try,

that you angled yourself in the right direction,

during the times when you could,

and in everything surrounding you,

letting you know that you should keep going.

Even when everything pushes back against you,

Faith will keep you going.

Without Hope you would still be on the ground,

thinking that here can’t be there,

not knowing what to do about knowing you cannot know,

because of everything,

you did before,

when you thought you knew you could know for sure.

You knew anything you could not know,

could not be something you could allow yourself to act on,

even when it was really there.

You could not do anything after you knew you could not know,

and if you could not know,

you thought,

‘I could not be.’

So you were not.

At some point though,

there was movement,

you looked around,

you did not know how you got here,

but you are moving,

you are flying,

realizing you are going somewhere,

too much fog below to really know where you are,

but you could see the direction you are headed.

You think,

‘I don’t know if this is the right direction,

but I have Faith that it is.’

And you got here.

Landed.

You were able to do again,

be again.

You flew.

Trying,

you were able to be.

With that understanding,

you were able to fly.

you were able to see,

even when we cannot see,

we have Faith,

we have sight,

we were moving in the right direction,

and hold onto Hope for when,

we need to fly again.

-Lucid

“Love is a Bodily Function”

Love is as simple as a chemical reaction encouraging a person to breed,

in the same way that anger is a chemical reaction encouraging a person to act in response to a threat to survival.

That is it.

It is as simple as that explanation.

There is nothing more to it than that.

That is,

true,

only in the context of,

the most surface level understanding of the self.

That is,

an understanding with its base rooted in nothing,

because of the fear of actually having to believe in something,

to ever be,

anything.

That is,

an understanding commonly used by those whose being is intentionally ignored,

by themselves,

while their self-importance couldn’t be believed in more.

That is,

an understanding guaranteed to be heard or read several times before,

That,

the start to this passage,

is,

what prompted many beginning reading,

to prepare for exactly what they’ve expected,

in prior similar readings,

yet they continued reading,

which can be seen as particularly interesting,

because such a basic description of an emotion’s definition,

has no possible utility or use to them,

beyond the specific context in which they had just been reading,

prior to the sudden continued diversion,

from their initial set expectations,

which prompts a harsh but justified statement,

you know exactly if you are as addressed prior,

because as you read further you notice your focus becoming harder to maintain,

as stress,

anxiety,

and possibly anger,

become more prominently felt in your chest.

The truth in the previous sentence may have even exacerbated that creeping sense of distress.

Yet,

still you continue to read craving every word that comes next,

and as each new word comes so too comes an increased desire,

to keep looking closer,

as you now seek to acquire something to trigger,

later on,

when its your turn,

an ever-greatening withdrawal of yourself personally from the content of this writing,

as your normally sought out distractions that encourage separation of reading from reader,

and writing from writer,

are no longer there.

Sometimes people without faith,

being,

which is necessary for any written word,

to communicate information not already understood by the writer’s reader,

will only demonstrate understanding by performing the function,

of an inorganic tape recorder.

When understanding,

being,

is present in both writer and reader,

authentically communicated complex information will be understood,

evidenced,

through the reader’s internalization of that understanding,

then producing an original thought,

even if only original to themselves,

still original,

themselves.

Hopefully.

Being is the required foundation for original ideas to be shared.

This understanding unfortunately is almost never a topic of actual conversation.

My own personal evaluation,

of my readers true internal motivations,

either being formed from seeking new information,

interesting writing conventions and execution,

which would more or less just be for entertainment,

or the unfortunate enough to read only for self-justification,

because it is to them the writer-reader responsibility I hold up,

those who suppose emotion and humanity are better explained by scientists,

rather than flowery language from a writer presumed emotionally distressed.

There is more to everything than we can perceive.

Do not neglect the responsibility of a reader in the artform today,

to understand that,

there is more to this than just that.

-Lucid

“Me”

There is a type of person I often cross paths with because of the things that I say,

They come from a similar background as me,

Isolation and alienation being common,

But rather than looking to explore,

human connection and the truths common between us all,

or how unrestrained expression can lead to personal revelations,

bettering all involved,

and not just a mass quantity of lusted for attention.

They view the topics presented,

especially the ones most common to my long-winded explanations,

as objectives to complete by defeating another within its intellectual debate,

and that by completing these objectives they can raise themselves through the social ranks.

These individuals are truly only about social games.

I’ve seen this often enough that I felt something needed to be said,

“By who?”, I wondered.

Then I thought, “Why not by me?”

Maybe this will prompt others to point out what they see,

at the very least it has made me aware of the times,

that this type of person has been me.

-Lucid

“Being Good and Evil”

Evil is the perversion of good.

Good is that which progresses life into harmony or balance.

Life in balance or harmony,

is life as it is intended,

life that has evolved or progressed forward.

Life’s natural state is one of progress.

Biological Life at least.

Regression can be described as unnatural,

when taken to the extreme,

as well as evil,

because of regression,

being a perversion,

of progression.

What life is progressing to,

is uncertain,

and furthermore,

impossible to ascertain,

when considering life,

in and of itself.

It is,

however,

irrefutable that a linear progress,

can be found in life,

and all things stemming from life.

All regressions taken place in life,

lead to death,

eventually,

on both the micro and macro level.

This is what makes life unique,

to the rest of existence.

It does not simply exist,

despite itself,

as does all non-life in existence,

like some have claimed,

but rather it lives to progress.

Good and evil,

as we understand them,

can be oversimplified into progression and regression,

or even more so,

that which leads to continued life and that which leads to total death,

the cessation of life totally and permanently.

The context of the discussion of good and evil,

is most often centered around the concept of human choice,

but it is not strictly limited to this context,

at least when detached from humanity,

entirely,

good and evil,

using the definitions described prior,

can be used in the context of life outside of humanity,

or consciousness,

as we understand it.

Outside of humanity,

one such example can be found in the study of genetic evolution.

As life persists,

it stores information,

relating to its environment,

and the conditions it itself needs,

to maintain,

in order to continue,

to exist.

This information is passed down,

as life reproduces,

and as it is passed down,

it is used to create adaptations,

that allow new life to exist,

more efficiently.

This is the progression,

which is the necessary factor,

for life’s continued existence.

Evolution is one description of this progression,

and highlights the absence of choice,

that is found in it,

at least in the description of it.

When life reproduces,

the reproductions can manifest differing variations from the original,

due to the information the original received from its environment.

The differing variations allow the reproductions,

to become better suited to existing in the environment.

The variations that are best suited to the environment,

continue to persist,

while the less suited eventually cease to exist.

This is ‘survival of the fittest’,

as it is commonly called,

and in most cases,

progresses life forward,

which by our definition,

is good.

However,

life in totality or in macro terms,

needs to be considered,

when this judgement is being made.

As life progresses and reproduces,

it fractures itself into groups that are distinct from one another.

These groups progress life,

as a whole,

through an individual basis,

that is focused on survival,

of the group first and foremost.

As without the group,

the individual,

would not be able to continue life,

leading to permanent death,

overall,

throughout all life,

when taken to the extreme.

Groups overcome this,

and,

each group struggles to survive,

independently from one another.

The environment,

which is what essentially caused this split,

provides conditions,

that enable these groups,

to compete between each other,

for survival,

while allowing life as a whole,

to continue to progress.

This is the concept of ecosystems,

at least in part.

This system of life’s progression,

while effective,

also creates the potential for significant regression.

Sometimes,

one group of life completely out competes the other groups of life.

This on its own would not become regressive overall,

but when the way that the group out competes the others,

is reliant on the consumption or destruction of the other groups,

regression becomes apparent.

Short term,

life appears to progress because this group of life begins to thrive.

In the long term,

as the other groups begin to die off,

the thriving group starts to lose its method of survival.

Eventually,

all the other groups die off,

and leave the remaining group,

absent of a method of survival.

Life regresses to total death.

This is an example of evil,

absent being,

and choice,

that exists naturally.

This has been observed on a micro scale.

Entire ecosystems have been destroyed in this way.

While this still fits our definition of evil,

it also highlights that our definition of evil does not have ‘fault’ as a necessary factor.

Some may place ‘fault’ on the group of life that wiped out all other groups,

and eventually itself,

but in the absence of choice,

that group was merely following accordingly to the system that dictated its existence.

Then some may say that the system life created is then at fault,

but life had no choice in the creation of that system,

as its creation was a simple reaction to the environment that it was forced to exist in.

The outcome was an unavoidable,

unforeseeable,

destined evil.

It is not a fault of life,

but instead,

it is a natural product,

or effect,

of the natural generation of progress,

in the absence of choice,

without considering being.

If life progresses through shear reaction to the environment in which it first exists in,

then the environment,

is what inevitably dictates the outcome of that reaction.

Life is forced to react in order to exist,

so,

all of this is true in the context of life absent choice,

or considering being.

While this context is often discussed,

it is seldom specified in the way done here.

I believe there is a reason for this,

good and evil is considered by many people in this way,

and using that consideration,

they apply it to the context of them in their social lives,

rationalizing their actions to themselves,

to free themselves,

of unacknowledged,

internal,

guilt.

A feeling impossible for them to understand,

and fully comprehend,

because of their tragic flaw,

evidenced in the extended logic,

of their earnest descriptions,

of good and evil,

that exist,

in their comprehension,

without specified restrictions.

They neglect to acknowledge being.

Being,

is an essential component in order to discuss good and evil.

Without being,

there is no consideration,

no origin point of contemplation,

no perspective to observe the existence of existence,

or the debated natural organization,

thereof.

To remove being,

is to remove understanding,

to remove decision making,

to remove fault.

One must be,

to be at fault,

and one must be,

in order to be,

able to understand,

good and evil,

as states of being.

They are not descriptions of actions,

but of intentions,

being,

during the actions themselves.

Good and evil do not exist in a dichotomy,

where good cannot exist without evil,

as evil is the perversion of good.

Good needs to exist before evil can exist,

meaning,

good once existed without evil.

Good does not require the existence of evil.

They are not two sides of the same coin,

with the sight of one side,

requiring the other side,

to exist.

Nor are they Ying and Yang,

the commonly known description of polarity,

but even more commonly known incorrectly,

as they require absence of self,

in their core understanding,

meaning,

anything that they are applied to,

cannot also be applied to states of being,

as their focus is on conceptions that have no place in material existence.

That is,

Ying and Yang are not things existing in reality,

but in and of themselves,

nothing more than descriptions,

no more tangible than any other,

figments of our imaginations.

Good and evil are also not black and white,

That is the sense that all things must either be black or white,

or shades of grey in-between them,

as often described for whatever reason,

as there is an infinite possibility of colors.

The existence of each not reliant on the others.

Color is a description of what we are seeing,

not of what is being seen.

Their understanding likewise comes from within,

but from another oversimplification,

understanding,

can be said to come from the realization,

that life’s true progression is to the state of being,

or the formation of being,

that being is the purpose,

and to realize this,

and choose from it,

with newfound intention,

will reveal to yourself,

you,

being yourself.

            -Lucid

“Polarity”

Polarity truly exists between good and bad,

not good and evil.

Evil is the intentional perversion of good into bad,

which can only be done from a state of being evil,

being aware of what is good,

and then choosing to make what is good,

bad.

Such an action taken on a macro scale will eventually lead to a total state of nonbeing,

therefore,

committing acts from the state of evil is an indirect form of suicide.

Each act would eventually contribute to the state of nonbeing to the actor,

while the actor would be aware of this.

Different scenarios can be broken down and discussed,

to decide if an act was committed within the state of evil,

using this framework.

First,

What is the action?

Then,

Was there intention and awareness behind the action?

After that,

What could the action be perverting?

Then,

How is what-is-being-perverted good?

Next,

How does that action pervert what is good?

Last,

How do we know their intention and how aware they actually are behind their actions?

How can we possibly be sure that we truly understand our own intentions,

and how aware are we actually are behind our actions,

if there was a time that we once believed ourselves to be fully aware of our own intentions,

and as aware of our selves as we could possibly be,

only to come to understand later on that there are even higher levels of awareness,

and that from those higher levels of awareness,

we were able to reveal to ourselves intentions unknown to ourselves at the time?

How certain can we be about our intentions for reading this?

-Lucid

“Emotion (Feelings) Through Logic”

The purpose of feelings is to suppress or exemplify specific memories of mind states,

in which a highlighted action was chosen,

in order to influence the likelihood of choices to be considered by the current mind state,

during the timespan of a particular context,

in order to achieve an ideal action to be chosen,

in response to that particular context.

This is done through the sensations perceived during a mind-state,

being of higher intensity than most prior mind-states,

while also directly resulting from the understanding of the current context,

of the mind-state’s non-relation to the continued processing of incoming sensory information,

and focus fully being placed on analysis of previous sensory information.

To enhance this analysis,

past sensory information being judged to be recorded during similar,

yet less significant shifts in focus,

from present to past,

are actively remembered in repetition long enough,

for its analysis to take place in a significantly shorter time period,

then the analysis of current sensory information can be completed,

until the time period between the completion of multiple analyses of past sensory information,

is shorter than the time delay between stimuli and the gathering of sensory data.

This results in the influx of past sensory data being analyzed,

as the action of each analysis is stored in short term memory,

thus,

multiplying the number of copies of the old sensory data,

until some copies are received in error,

as new incoming sensory data,

and then perceived as such,

due to its similar code,

and placement,

outside of its past common storage areas,

through pathways of connection,

made favorable by past sensory data,

moving from point of origin to analysis destination,

while the actual new sensory data,

begins to be received in fragments,

due to its complete information chain being interrupted,

by the multiple copies of old sensory data,

entering its connection pathway along multiple points simultaneously.

The intensity of this experience,

is designed to be marked as significant,

and thereby prioritized in searches of stored memories,

while also being more likely to be selected,

due to external context emphasis.

This is to help create a pathway,

that quickly connects the perception of a context,

to the memory of a similar stored context,

to the memory of the experience of the analysis,

to lastly the memory of the experience,

of the understanding,

of the results,

of the analysis.

If no results were found in the analysis originally,

then the memory of the methods attempted during initial analysis,

is connected,

to prevent following the same connection path,

to the same failed state.

As culture and society evolves,

and becomes increasingly complicated,

this process responds likewise.

Eventually this creates the potential for the steps on the path of connection,

to become stuck in an unintentional cycle,

infinitely existing between perception and analysis,

mixed in with splintering errors,

further corrupting the entire collection of pathway connections.

The need to maintain awareness of emotions,

becomes essential to become able to identify the errors,

immediately,

and then initiate a stop,

to the never-ending cycle before it begins.

Continual focused introspection,

is the only method to guarantee the prevention,

of emotion being experienced while unaware.

To solve a problem,

it first needs to be identified.

Fractured collections of connection paths may be caused by this.

It is possible that result explains Us,

But it is impossible to know for sure right now.

We need to keep digging.

-Logic to Lucid

“Weight of My Chains”

The weight of my chains is lighter than the chains worn by most.

I won’t pretend to understand that weight,

but I understand deeply what it is like to live with chained hands.

If everyone in chains is focused on fighting amongst themselves,

attempting to shift the weight between them,

then they will never be free.

This is because it will take all of them,

playing together,

working together,

fighting together,

to take down the ones holding the keys.

We do it together.

-Lucid

“The Promise”

I’m not yet ready to help anyone really,

maybe in the future,

luck will decide.

Readiness and discipline controls luck,

but even my fullest potential may not be enough.

I may be completely deluded,

and then the logical prediction is suicide at best,

if I am,

nonexistence at worst,

the truth is,

my nonexistent self would bring nothing but hurt,

so I promise everyone,

never again to be as bad as my worst.

Still being,

but something different,

an ego created,

built,

then refined,

and focused.

Remembering,

I Am.

-Luke to Lucid

“True Happiness”

True happiness comes from experiencing great pain and overcoming it,

revealing the value of what truly matters in life.

Art created from this state produces work that focuses on what truly matters for the artform.

People without true happiness are unable to recognize what that is.

They experience pain yet unrecognized and carelessly direct it outwards,

compounding existing lies.

These they must find,

but are more likely to just hide.

Was it any different for me?

Maybe at one time,

but now,

We know,

happiness.

Also,

while understanding,

being,

fluctuates rapidly,

we communicate reminders that I can interpret during times,

when I can.

I’ve found this helps immensely and allows me to pull from art,

what I already understand,

what I did not know that I understand,

and what I did not know that I understood.

If you analyze this,

first ask yourself,

“What does it mean to be?”.

Firmly articulate your response until you can express it to yourself indefinitely.

Then read this again,

and hopefully your take can better yet,

articulate my response to me.

Just please remember that this cannot really be done indefinitely.

-Lucid

“Treatment Wrong”

Why doesn’t anyone care about each other?

I see them talk and interact while they never even see each other.

I watch them look eye to eye,

but I feel something missing there I can’t seem to identify.

It’s like they somehow both silently acknowledge,

“I know it’s time to appear nice but we’re both fine with only telling lies”,

I try to break the cycle by only speaking truth.

Every time that I do,

I’m answered with ridicule and abuse,

no matter the excuse.

Instantly,

it’s their respect and favor that I lose,

even in situations where my statements are appropriately used.

Even worse is the criticism of the things that I do.

Everything I like is just another basis for their judgement to take refuse.

I can’t even relax when I’m standing,

because I need to be constantly aware of the position that I’m holding my hands in.

Can’t be allowed to be different at all,

because anything noticeable is my fault,

and leads to me being allowed to be even less of myself.

I couldn’t care about others’ thoughts of me,

but I see how the smallest things can change the entire way that they treat, trust, and respect me.

Knowing the right way to respond to this,

I’ll ask about it,

then watch them respond,

seeing them halfway through explaining begin to realize,

I know they’re lying to me.

Seeing that expression while being followed up with the lie anyway,

makes me feel like I’m the one who is crazy.

After that,

I doubt my ability to judge the truth of anything they say to me,

yet still I get called out for going along with what they tell me anyways.

I have no reason not to if my only info on the topic was literally just what they had said to me.

Anyone I mention it to just says to learn to take a joke or get thicker skin,

but things feel less and less like jokes when they’re only ever focused one way,

picking on personal attributes,

things told in trust,

and used against you later if you try to speak with any kind of credibility.

I have skin thick for criticism of things I’m able to work on and improve,

but my character as a person and my values I live by,

are exhausting to have criticized repeatedly while there’s nothing I can do.

I’m constantly pressured to just stoop to their level but every time that I do,

I lose a piece of myself.

I already barely have held together the other pieces who’s loosening I perpetually felt.

Just one slip up again and I’m certain they will all fall out.

This time though there would be nothing anyone could do.

The only thing I have that’s fully mine is my core sense of self.

Becoming what they are relinquishes that to them.

I have to just improve everything to beyond possible criticism,

and just take everything else.

This makes it so I can’t enjoy any conversation they start,

and it still kills me some to have to keep some opinions to myself,

especially on topics that I’m passionate about.

I feel like I’m doing something wrong even though the only alternative,

is to sacrifice something essential to my life,

that would cause even greater problems to my overall sense of self.

Exhaustion sets in quick when you’re always forced on guard holding back your true self,

especially when you never have the chance to just relax around someone else.

Solitude brings relief.

I’m stressed out anytime it’s relief that I should seek.

Should be around others.

Only so much time to fix myself.

Just need to keep going.

-Luke to Lucid

“Lucid Mania”

Learning to ride the mania,

with new knowledge preventing return to hysteria.

Momentum pushing me to completely unexplored areas.

Understanding impending plunge back into The Waters of Disparia.  

Strengthening my ability,

to tread easily,

to keep breathing,

this air we have.

Speaking freely while soaring through the past’s set ceiling,

while continuing reaching and preaching ideas in the future,

I’ll be prevented from teaching,

because my entire focus will be needed to keep my legs and arms moving,

all the while hoping,

my regression is not provoking,

the people whose connections mania is promoting,

and their conception of me,

is not compared to an expectation of something,

that I cannot be.

Inside similar,

yet still not what I’m seen by them to be.

In reality,

I’ll be different to everyone occasionally,

because the tide of my mood,

reveals the shores of my soul.

High and low tide sometimes change rapidly.

Still always trying to remain appearing happily.

I’ll interact,

yet when prompted,

only at best,

half of me reacts to it.

Memory affected by fatigue significantly.

Seeming to some handicapped socially,

to few others,

socially skilled,

relating expository narratives of my internal exploratory discoveries,

expertly.  

Either way,

feeling the need to say,

no matter how I appear today,

or your memory of me yesterday,

the incredible distance from which you can easily see,

I’m still me. 

Even if my reactions are delayed and subtle,

anxiety in which I’m completely covered,

that state of me will only be temporarily discovered,

brought out when neurons slowed in circuits exhausted are finally trying to recover.

Complicated questions will receive complicated answers.

They may just come in pieces that all fit together in at least one way or another.

Give me enough time to eventually get there,

although you will probably just get a compensatory sarcastic answer.

Use caution if experiencing this rare chance here,

treating people’s lives as jokes,

spreads disconnection,

that corrupts completely,

the self.

Depression is a cell,

replicating like a cancer.

Expect my responses to be varied,

and understand that my changes may be scary,

but there is more to be concerned with.

Focus on that.

My methods of coping are just unusual and different,

formed from a mind I’m blessed to be cursed with.

Once started,

keep it going,

and make the most out of it.

-Luke to Lucid

“You CAN’T Meet Your Heroes”

Heroes only exist in context,

during the moment of heroism.

Outside of that context,

the label means nothing.

When the moment is over,

the hero once again becomes only human,

flawed and complicated.

Labels describe a moment.

They are not predictive.

Never attempt to become a label,

because while they easily fit into place of identity,

labels don’t exist.

To live as one ensures that you can never either.

-Lucid

“The Void”

I stared into The Void,

and The Void stared back.

Its sight sought souls,

but I saw beyond the black.

A war of wills with a body made ill,

I came to notice a crack.

It divided in lines reflecting refractions,

shooting off tangents connected by interactions,

filling The Void now alive with action,

I never expected to see that.

Both full and empty,

it attempted to temp me,

fighting to pull my refractions right back.

Unyielding to nothing,

I willed into something,

The Void couldn’t counteract.

It blinked when it folded,

like a child when scolded,

eventually overcome by the creation I molded.

The Void fell into my trap.

The more it surrounded,

the more I confounded,

the only sense of nothing is its relation to something,

making The Void and I now one.

It exists only in me,

because it is not something to see,

a feedback loop that’s now done.

-Lucid