Oxys after wisdom teeth taken out,
and after nose surgery,
Combined that with large amounts of Vodka,
Summer between 8th and 9th grade year,
I no longer wanted to exist,
One of my childhood friends also had a large bottle of pills after shoulder surgery,
I bought some oxy from him and spent all the money I had on that and vodka,
#I was ‘ironically’ watching movies#,
When I took all of my change to a coin star,
so that I could buy more oxy and vodka,
I found this coin in the returned coin slot,
a lot of people in my family struggled with addiction,
depression,
and were able to overcome it,
finding this coin made me think of them,
and helped me better myself,
I didn’t abuse oxy or other painkillers again,
until after I returned home from Robbie Nardone’s viewing ,
I crushed and snorted painkillers with a straw that night,
that’s the first time I remember watching Rick and Morty,
and retaining any of the plot,
When I quit football at WNE,
a few weeks before Robbie’s funeral,
I had already started making friends with some of my teammates,
When I told them I was medically retiring,
I was telling them the truth,
many of them said that it would be ok to still hangout and talk to them,
I never talked to them again,
I avoided a lot of bad things that happened in that lockerroom because of that,
I believed that when I quit football that I broke my promise to never give up on my dreams because he told me to never give up on my dreams after I told him that I was preparing to play college football,
I said OK,
I promise,
a few weeks later I believed that by breaking my promise to never give up on my dreams that I had killed him,