If you see me around town please do not talk to me unless you want to set up a meeting to have a sit down conversation where real conversation can be had,
In the last few years,
since Covid,
I’ve lost every one of my friends,
some of them I was closer to than some people are able to be with anyone including their significant other,
Some of them have done things to me,
Put me in situations,
Tests,
Trials,
Pranks,
Hazing,
Harassment,
Some more serious than others,
I had one person who used to be a football teammate of mine pay me through Lucid Enterprises LLC to work for him and the entire time I was there I was made fun of both in ways that may be considered ‘jokingly’ made and ways that would be considered harassment and harmful,
made only to instigate retaliation in some way,
to provoke violence,
Some people will do things either to you or others just because they want you to stand up for yourself or others because they have not seen you do so before or because they want to find the line they can go to before they are stopped,
one thing that football players,
and players of other sports will do,
is attempt to get other players to retaliate against them or do something to get them kicked out or just in trouble,
usually they try to get the other to start a fight,
I don’t know if that’s what they were trying to do but I do not want to be around people like that or interact with them,
A fight is when people are trying to kill each other,
So do not instigate that with me,
Or anyone,
My host teacher for my student teaching practicum told me a story about some students they had in the high school that started having issues with each other,
One student starting insulting the other by talking about them to their friends when they were close enough to hear it and by posting insults on social media as well as to their face a few times in the hallway because they thought the other wouldn’t retaliate in any way as they had not done so far,
One day that girl was walking past my host teacher’s room and the other girl who had not retaliated yet came walking up quickly behind her with a baby carrier in hand,
there was a health and wellness project going on at the time where students were to carry a bag of rice around for a few days as though it was a baby and some would carry it with a baby carrier,
the girl with the baby carrier in hand walked quickly up to the girl who had been insulting and swung the baby carrier as hard as they could and struck the other girl in the back of the head,
she collapsed to the ground as a puddle of blood began to form on the floor of the hallway,
the girl with the baby carrier kept walking away as my host teacher tended to the student on the floor and called for help,
some people will not retaliate until they decide to in a direct way,
some fights can quickly be ended with finality,
I’ve had to explain that to students of my own before and I hope they understood what I meant,
I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive people that have done things like that to me but I would have a conversation with them in person if they would like,
during any conversation like that dishonestly and closed mindedness is what makes me not want to talk to them,
surface level small talk conversations with people are something that I do not enjoy especially when instigated by someone else because most of the time they are done so without actually wanting to connect with the other person,
Why are people afraid to tell me directly that they read everything I write?